Do You Need God To Be A Drill Sergeant?

Sometimes while I’m reading my Bible my imagination goes wild! As I was reading the thrilling account of the Lord giving Joshua his marching orders on Jericho, for some reason the voice of God turned into the drill sergeant, R. Lee Ermey from the (does a former drill Sgt. Make a terrible therapist) commercial by Geico Insurance.

Okay, you have to do the voice in your head as you read:

God: “See! I have given Jericho into your hand, its king, and the mighty men of valor. You shall march around the city all you men of war; you shall go all around the city once. This you shall do six days.” (Can you hear meeeeeee?)

Joshua: (But…but, Lord, Jericho is powerful and fortified and protected by many strong warriors! What good will it do to march around the city?)

God: (Now listen to me you jackwagon!) “Seven priests shall bear seven trumpets of rams’ horns before the ark. But the seventh day you shall march around the city seven times and the priests shall blow the trumpets. It shall come to pass, when they make a long blast with the ram’s horn, and when you hear the sound of the trumpet, that all the people shall shout with a great shout; then the wall of the city will fall down flat. And the people shall go up every man straight before him.” (Now drop and give me twenty-five maggot!)

Fortunately for the Israelites, Joshua wasn’t living in mamby-pamby land and didn’t have to have a drill sergeant God to get him motivated. Joshua listened to what the Lord said; he actually obeyed the Word of God and was able to pull off an amazing miracle to boot. Wouldn’t this be an awesome world if we were all like Joshua and did what the Lord said the first time around? But instead we sometimes choose to do things our own way and as a result end up walking around that ol’ mountain again and again. So the next time you hear the voice of the Lord calling you into action don’t ignore Him, get off your can and get to work scumbag!

Note: Parenthetical text added by writer

Link to R. Lee Ermey commercial: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APwfZYO1di4

History In The Making

Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Deuteronomy 4:9

I apologize for the lack of blog posts over the past month, but I’ve been pursuing another venture…historical research! I’ve always been intrigued by history, especially local (Texas) history. I suppose it’s something I picked up from my dad who’s quite the history buff himself.

Dad has a way of talking about things from the past that makes history come to life. For instance, I can remember him taking me and at least one of my brothers to the capture site of Santa Anna (President of Mexico and commander of the Mexican army). This extremely significant and yet little known historical site is located next to the Pasadena Paper Mill front gate, facing the Houston Ship Channel. After I had children, Dad and Mom took them to the site…along with the San Jacinto Monument and the Battleship Texas.

When I was a young child my family went on a road trip from Houston, Texas to Destin, Florida. Along the way, my father took us through the Civil War battleground at Vicksburg, Mississippi. At the age of eight (?), I thought that was the most boring thing we ever could have done. Now that I’m…well, let’s just say I’m grown up, I wish I could remember more about it.

My love for history has encouraged me in my latest writing project. I decided to write a book series based around the Lighthouse at Point Bolivar, Texas. I’ve always been intrigued by lighthouses and this one in particular because I have a familial connection to the current owners, (who, unfortunately I’ve never met).

The first book in the series is based on a fictional family who has been called away from their home in New Orleans to man the lighthouse during the Civil War only to find when they arrive that it has been dismantled completely because of the war. The book is a romance of a forbidden nature involving a Union soldier and a southern girl. Sounds interesting, right?

Some things I’ve learned in my historic research:

1.      There was a Confederate ship Named the CSS McRae (My maiden name)

2.      During Hurricane Ike, part of the Civil War Ship Monticello washed up on the Alabama coastline

3.      The penitentiary in Huntsville, Texas was built BEFORE the outbreak of the Civil War

4.      During the Civil War the penitentiary sold more than two million yards of cotton and nearly 300,000 yards of wool to both civilians and the Confederacy. Wartime production made a profit of $800,000

I had no idea combining historical facts with a fictional account could be so much fun. Please pray for me as I pursue this exciting new endeavor.